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I have a confession to make. I’ve held this in for so long, it’s been eating me up inside. Seriously, the time has come to let this dirty little secret out of the bag.
OK. Here goes…
My wife earns more money than I do.
Like, significantly more.
Like…way…WAY more than I do.
There! I said it! Take my man card, confiscate my tools, and steal my grill. I don’t care. It feels soooo good to finally stop living this lie. The burden has finally been lifted!
Of course, anybody who knows us is already aware of this fact. And, I suppose, anybody who has read our income reports has probably figured it out by now. So, maybe it isn’t that big of a secret. Maybe it’s already public knowledge.
Still, this thing has been weighing on me. It’s not the traditional arrangement, not the way it is “supposed” to be. I mean, what’s everybody going to think of me now that it’s finally out in the open?
Oh wait. I don’t care.
My wife makes more than me. Deal with it.
Hell, she makes more in 3 months than I used to make in a year. It’s a crazy turn of events, but I think it’s freakin’ awesome! My wife rules beeotch! Here are some great ways to earn extra money if you aren’t really excited about the difference of money making between you and your spouse!
When Your Wife Makes More
Now, I understand some dudes may feel threatened. I understand some people may look down on me. I know a few of you think I’m a bit of a wuss.
Let me repeat: I. Don’t. Care.
This ain’t 1956, yo! Hell, this ain’t even 1986. It’s 2016 and gender norms have changed.(Hallelujah!)
Of course it hasn’t always been this way. There was a time when I was the main breadwinner. I used to go out, slaughter that pig, and toss that bacon on the kitchen table. I was a MAN…and I was happy with that. Honestly, I’d be lying if I said making less didn’t require a few mental adjustments.
So, how did I go from breadwinner to boy toy? How did I get over the enormous humiliation of my wife making more money than me? How can you do it too? Let’s dig in!
4 Ways to Deal with Your Wife Earning More
1) Know Your Worth
As dudes, we tend to tie a lot of our self-worth into what we do for a living. Almost instinctively, we feel like we’re “supposed” to be the provider. It makes us feel needed and…well…manly. Plus, let’s face it: For some, there’s still a stigma attached to making less than your wife. It’s like you’re walking around with a scarlet letter “L” attached to your chest. But, you’re not a loser.
It’s easy to feel threatened when your roles change. When she starts making more, you might wonder where you fit in. That can cause friction, self-doubt, and resentment. Remember, you are more than just a job. You are a husband, a father (possibly), and a human being with other great qualities. Anybody who cares that your wife makes more needs to check themselves and join the 21st century.
2) Remember, You’re on the Same Team
Don’t forget, you are both working toward the same goals here. Getting married means you’ve formed a partnership. You are a family unit, a team that shares in each other’s highs and lows. When you’re a team, you have to play to each other’s strengths. Sometimes you’ll carry the load. Other times she will.
Luckily for me, we’ve always been a team, each supporting our individual and shared goals. For example, Holly was able to take a chance and focus full-time on her writing because I held a steady gig. Obviously, that paid off in spades for us. Now, she’s picked up the torch, providing the income that’s allowing us to build up our own business. And, since everything goes into the same pot, there’s no mine and yours. We’re a team…and it’s ours just like it’s always been.
3) Use it as Motivation
Is making less than your wife getting you down? Are you tired of her bringing in more than you? Well, get off your ass and do something about it. Nothing stokes the fires of success like a little competition. Use your wife’s to inspire and motivate your own.
Better yet, celebrate your wife’s accomplishments as a family. If you have children, boys or girls, point to your wife as a shining example of what they can accomplish someday. I can’t think of a better role model for my two daughters than their own mother.
4) Get Over Yourself
Look, I know it can be tough to deal when your wife makes more than you. It’s a societal stigma that hasn’t worn off. But, here’s the best thing you can do: Get over it, brah! You just hit the sugar momma jackpot! Enjoy it. Wear that scarlet letter with pride. Celebrate her, support her, and show her the appreciation and love she deserves.
No, seriously. Act like a real man and get over it.
Beaming With Pride
Personally, I’m in total awe of Holly and I admire all she does for our family. She’s the most driven, hardest working person I’ve ever known. She’s the best at what she does, and she got there by working her ass off. I know because I’ve seen her do it – pounding away every day…and at night…and on the weekends, while most people are enjoying their time off.
But it’s more than just that. After years of searching, she finally found her calling, and I couldn’t be happier for her. I love her and I am incredibly proud of everything she has accomplished. The best I can hope for is that my daughters are watching, and that they grow into strong, intelligent, driven women like their mother.
So go ahead. Mock me. Ridicule me. Point at me and whisper that I’m the dude who makes less than his wife. I think it’s hi-lair-eee-ous. We’re still laughing our asses off…with a big fat check on the way to the bank.
Does your wife make more than you? Do you make more than your hubby? How do you deal with it? Let us know in the comments below!