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Hello folks.  I am here, once again, to share my infinite wisdom with you in order to help you with your job search.

You’re welcome.

I want to start this off by saying that I think it is great you are looking for a job.  Afterall, sitting home and pouting won’t help you become employed, right?  However, some of your tactics are not working and I want to share with you a quick list of “what not to do” while looking for your next 9-5.

 

1.  Don’t Show Up In Pajamas

This should be a given, right?  If you are seeking employment in a professional office, like the one I work in, you might consider wearing regular pants when dropping off that resume.  I cannot tell you how many people come to my work to drop off a resume or ask for an application wearing pajamas or workout gear.  Putting on some professional clothes before you stop in will alert us that you actually own professional looking clothes.  ***HOT TIP – Dressing nice will keep me from putting a post-it note on your resume stating that you were wearing your cozies when you stopped by.

 

2.  Don’t Smoke

If you reek like smoke when you drop off your resume, people get suspicious.  If your resume itself reeks like smoke, it will go straight in the recycler.  I know that this is probably unfair and maybe illegal…but it’s the truth.  Many workplaces do not knowingly hire people who smoke.  Don’t smell like smoke when you stop by and don’t leave a resume that smells like an ashtray.

 

3.  Don’t Be an Asshole to the Receptionist

At many places of employment, the designated person sitting in the reception area actually has a function and isn’t just sitting there like a dumbass.  At my office, I sit at the front desk.  I greet people as they come in and help most of the “walk-ins.”  I also have regular work to do, and I have input in everything that goes on there.  Be nice to the person that greets you at the place where you wish to work…..you never know how much pull that person has.  They can help you get a foot in the door or throw away your resume.

 

Tips for Job Seekers - The "What Not to Do" Edition4.    Don’t Be a Stalker

Dropping off a resume in person is a great idea.  This lets people know what you look like, that you are a real person, and can really give someone a great first impression.  Following up is important as well.  You want to keep yourself fresh in the boss’s mind just in case he or she is looking to hire someone.  However,  calling and stopping by repeatedly crosses the line.  If you are leaving messages for the boss to call you back and aren’t getting your calls returned, STOP CALLING.  If every time you walk in the door the receptionist looks annoyed, STOP DROPPING BY.  If it is starting to seem like people are trying to avoid you…they probably are.  Don’t be an office stalker.  You will not get the job!  ***HOT TIP  There is a fine line between being persistent and a straight-up stalker crazy pants.  Don’t cross that line!

 

Obviously, this post was born out of my frustration with some of the people who apply to work at my office….but there is some useful information hidden among my sarcastic commentary.  Please feel free to add to this list by sharing a comment below.