Dream House Or Dream Life?

Dream House Dream Life - picture of woman sitting on edge of boat called Dream Life

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A few months ago, we were seriously considering moving.  Frustrated by a few of the shortcomings of our current residence, we started looking for a way to upgrade to our dream house.  Our current house – the one we have lived in for 4 years – is a 4 bedroom/3 bath home with about 2,300 square feet.  It has a large living area and a play room and sits on a large lot.  However, it doesn’t have some of the things I have always wanted – a garden tub, a nice backyard that you can relax in, and a roomy kitchen with upgraded cabinets and appliances.

Because of the way our house was built and laid out, remodeling wouldn’t make much sense.  Our kitchen can’t really grow in size, and there is no room for a garden tub in any of the bathrooms.  Also, we can’t change the fact that our yard backs up to several other back yards.   It was beginning to look like we should just move to get the house that we want.

At the same time that we were considering this, interest rates dropped to record low levels.  All of the sudden, houses that were somewhat out of our price range moved into a range that we could afford.  Afterall, a house with a mortgage rate of 3.5% has a much lower payment than a house at 6%.  Suddenly, a whole world of new options presented itself.

Our House Search

We began looking at houses – large houses, nice houses.  Some had several acres with them.  Others had large garages, fancy upgrades, and – yes – even garden tubs.  One house in particular stood out and we zeroed in on it quickly.  I consider this house my dream house.  With a long beautiful driveway, this country house had it all – 3,000 square feet on 5 rolling acres, a creek in the back, and a nice kitchen with cabinets that had roll out drawers.

I could see us in this house.  I could picture summer barbecues on the expansive deck in the back. A 4-car garage could hold our cars and all of our stuff.  I could even put my dad’s boat in there so that my mom could finally park in her garage after many years of parking out on the street!

Yes, it was all coming together.  We could afford this house, our dream house.  We could sell our current home and move into this larger, beautiful space.

We began crunching the numbers.  The house payment would be about $1,700 a month for a standard 30-year mortgage.  We could afford this house and all of the maintenance that comes with owning 5 acres.  We wouldn’t have to change our lifestyle very much.  We had been paying over the $1,400 payment on our current 15-year mortgage already so…….

That’s when it hit me.  To buy this house, we would have to move up from a 15-year to a 30-year mortgage.  Even if we paid additional payments towards the principle on this new mortgage, we could not decrease its term to less than 22 or 23 years.  It was time to stop and think what this really meant to us.

If we stayed in our current home, we could pay what we were paying and own it free and clear by the age of 40.  We could travel more.  We could help our kids with college.  We could have many years of owing nothing to anyone.

It was then we realized that having our dream house meant giving up our dreams Owning a piece of paradise came at a huge cost….our freedom.  Owning our dream home meant working more and longer hours.  It meant living at our means, not below it. It meant giving up our dream life.

The Aftermath

Needless to say, we didn’t buy the house.  We stopped looking and have grown stronger in our resolve to pay off our own house as quickly as possible.  We cut more from our budget and started paying almost double payments on our current mortgage.  At this rate, we will be debt free by the age of 37.

I drive by that house all the time.  I can still see my family living in that house, playing, relaxing, and enjoying life.  But, I know that I am not willing to pay that price.  I’m not willing to live more years imprisoned by my debt than I have to.  I want off this hamster wheel, and – once I get off – I’m staying off for good.

So here we are, still in our imperfect house.  I take baths in my regular tub.  I put my dishes and pans away in spaces that make no sense for them.  I try not to pay attention to the things that bother me.  My kids are happy and safe here, and that is all that really matters.  I may not get my dream house now, but with every month that goes by, I get closer to my real dream: I’m one month closer to becoming completely debt free.

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  1. My Wealth Desire says:

    You made a right decision for your house. It is like your are dealing two important things the freedom vs the big houses. I think you don’t have regrets to choice freedom than nice house.

  2. Love that you did not buy that house… we have just a 3 bedroom 2 bath house.. raised our 3 boys here and now that it’s just the 2 of us again it’s so perfect. I’m also very frugal – no debts, house is paid off and saving more for retirement… and giving extra…’he is no fool who gives what he cannot keep to gain what he cannot lose’ (Jim Elliot).. one of my favorite quotes. We could have bought a more expensive house at one time but SO glad we never did… it’s a freeing feeling to be ‘free’ of ‘stuff’ and know what’s ‘really’ important in this life!

    1. Yep, totally! Huge houses are overrated and so are the payments =/

  3. Just over 10 years ago, I sold the “dream home” in a suburb of Los Angeles I owned for slightly over five years. Although I missed the house for a few years, I did very well financially and put the money from the sale of the house aside for my future retirement. With a former employer, I accumulated a very respectable amount of money in that employer’s 457 and 401K plans. I also have a Roth IRA. I now am semi-retired. At age 70, I will be living very comfortably. I have had a condominium in another suburb of Los Angeles for close to six years. In my case, I have a “dream life” instead of a “dream house.” Life now is somewhat good. At age 70, my life will be wonderful.

  4. I just downsized to a 950sf condo with a garage. I am one block away from my town’s beautiful Main Street. I paid cash and will put $ toward its renovation. This place is my keeper. Location. Location. Location. I am 54 years young.

  5. A year ago we sold what we originally thought was our dream home to move into a smaller, more budget-friendly house. Although it was extremely difficult to give up the dream, we couldn’t be happier now! We’re $250k less in debt and making huge strides towards eliminating the rest in short order! It’s all a matter of what is the most important goal to you in what decisions need to be made!

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