5 Ridiculous Things I Won’t Be Buying This Week

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It’s been a long and awful week at the Club Thrifty household already, which is pretty strange since it is only Wednesday.

What can I say? 

I’m burnt out, I’m tired, and I’m counting on our upcoming cruise to melt my troubles away.  With that being said, I thought it would be fun to keep things light for a change and talk about some of the ridiculous things I’ve seen for sale recently.  We all know that people are terrible with money, but I still find it surprising when people blow their hard-earned cash on pure crap.  Here are 5 ridiculous things I won’t be buying this week:

5 Ridiculous Things I Won’t Be Buying This Week

Kim Kardashian’s New Book, “Selfish”

I don’t know how I stumbled on this story, but here goes.  Apparently Kim K. never got the memo that she has oversaturated the market.  So, to “reach more fans,” she has chosen to publish an entire book of selfie photos that were originally intended to be a Valentine’s Day gift for her husband, Kanye.  The 352-page book features a new selfie for each day of the year and will retail for $19.99.  “”I’m going to make some super racy,” Kim apparently told People Magazine. “I mean, every girl takes pictures of their ass in the mirror … I might share some of them.”

No, Kim.  Every girl does not have time to take pictures of her own ass.  Some of us are busy.  Working.

Tampon Flasks

I stumbled upon these “products” while searching Amazon for anything that might be helpful on our first cruise.  My first thought was that they seem small.  I mean, how many ounces does your average tampon really hold?  Maybe I’m just a huge lush, but it takes a lot more than the equivalent of 5-tampons of booze to make a dent in my sobriety. #pointless

And although they might be designed to smuggle booze on a cruise ship, tampon flasks aren’t only for cruises- they also provide a discreet way to hide your favorite adult beverage at frat parties, family get-togethers, or even your college dorm room.

Retail Cost: $10.16 and your pride.

Banana Bunker


Apparently the world’s perfect fruit just isn’t enough for some people.  Carrying around a naked banana makes them feel vulnerable, and they feel the need to wrap that baby up…and fast.  Enter the Banana Bunker, which could be mistaken for something else if you accidentally leave it on your desk at work.

Don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

Watermelon Stroller

Do you have an insatiable urge to push a fully-chilled watermelon around as if it were your first-born child?  If so, you’re in luck!

The Watermelon Stroller comes in at around $200, but can easily pay for itself by safeguarding any fruits and vegetables you sincerely wish were your own flesh and blood.  Give him a hug for me too, K?

Red Riding Potty

I’ve been pretty honest about the fact that I want to get my daughter potty-trained as quickly as possible.  And we’ve tried everything- rewards, stickers, graphs, charts- you name it.  Want to know one thing we’re not trying, though?  A rocking potty seat. 

Because, you know, we don’t really want pee splishing and splashing all over our house.


Wow.  I feel dumber for having written this post.

Would you buy any of these products?  What are some ridiculous products you’ve seen on the market lately?

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    1. I’m convinced that’s a ehem, different product, masquerading as a produce product. Sorry for that, had to get that out there!


  1. I haven’t even heard of any of those things! The watermelon thing cracked me up. Where do people come up with these things?

    1. Yes! Someone, somewhere is buying stuff like this.

  2. Haha, what?! I’ve never heard of any of these! The watermelon stroller struck me as particularly funny – do people realize watermelons are transported by truck with no padding? Oh the horror!

    1. Well, it is a watermelon “chiller” too. Got to keep it cold!

  3. Ha! Yeah, potty training our littlest has been a struggle but the Rockin’ Potty! I don’t think so!

    1. I would also try the rocking potty if I thought it might work.

  4. But what if the rocking potty is the solution to all your problems?

    I think Kim is correct… everyone (guy and girl) has time to take pictures of their own rear end… most of us just choose to spend out time doing something (hopefully) more worth while..

    1. I can think of a lot of better things to do with my time!

  5. LOL. I’d love the watermelon stroller. I can here the questions now. How old is he? He’s such a big watermelon, You mus be proud!

    1. Yep, exactly. And where exactly are you pushing it to? Your neighbors? Around the block?

  6. Ha ha ha…I LOVE this and needed a laugh this morning “No, Kim. Every girl does not have time to take pictures of her own ass.” – How about most of us don’t want to look at our ass let alone take a picture of it.

    1. I glance back there occasionally, but that is enough.

  7. Lol, this is awesome! I think we may just buy the rocking potty seat to take to the in-laws so they can have fun with our kids. 😉 As for #1, sadly WAY too many people will likely end up buying that stupid thing.

    1. Yep! It’s a “coffee table book.” I’m sure it will sell like hot cakes.

  8. Dear Lord, what has this country come to??? They “can’t afford” to give money to starving children, but they can afford to buy a stroller for their watermelon and a book of pics of Kim K’s arse?? It’s at times like this that I am so ashamed to live here.

    1. Yep, me too =/ All the crazy things that go on in this world and we’re all over here keeping up with the Kardashians.

  9. Hilarious! You can bet that people buying this stuff carry a balance on their credit cards.

  10. Wow… just wow… I think the tampon flasks and the banana bunker could be good gag gifts at like a bachelorette party, but that is about it! Maybe I am wrong on that too, being I am a guy…

  11. Haha wow these are pretty ridiculous, Holly! I think there’s a website out there called “this is why I’m broke” that shows some truly ridiculous things for sale on Amazon and elsewhere. I can’t blame people for trying to think of new product offerings, but some just end up looking completely ridiculous. What may be more shocking is that they got past the prototype stage and into production!

    1. I have never heard of that site but will check it out!

  12. HAH! That’s awesome. This is why I hate shopping. However, I do dislike how bruised my bananas get when I tote them around loose in my bag… LOL

  13. I heard about the Kim K. book on the radio when I was driving into work today. EW!

  14. I am amazed that with all the time Kim invests in her selfies that she actually runs a multi-million dollar empire…or maybe it’s the other sisters that actually run the business… Either way, I feel truly sorry for the poor trees that were sacrificed in order to print her book.

    1. Yes, exactly. And all the executives from the publishing company who were forced to deal with the project.

  15. I love this! There aren’t enough words in the dictionary which can’t fully express how much I can’t stand the Kardashians or Kanye. Mix that with my loathing of selfies in general….the banana one is pretty funny too!

    1. I don’t dislike them that much, but I don’t watch their show. That is probably why.

  16. Awesome post Holly! This is great. There are so many dumba** products out there. Glad to see the banana bunker looks like a sex toy. What in the hell are you doing with your bananas!

    1. LOL, I know. I don’t get it. My bananas are fine without their own “bunker.”

  17. Confession: I would like a banana bunker. My bananas rarely make it to lunch safely. I would also like a peach and pear bunker. Oh, the bruises!

    As for the others, silliness! I’m a fan of cold watermelon, but I much prefer the “cut up and travel with an ice pack” method. Who knew I was saving $200 in the process!

  18. Prudence Debtfree says:

    I bring a banana to work every day, and I am NOT getting that bunker. The comments that would fly around among staff and students alike . . . Ugh!

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  20. LOL All of these kill me.

    And come on Holly, we all know that all girls take pictures of their asses all day long! 😛

  21. You have to give it to Kim K, she’s making millions by doing nothing. We all talk about passive income. It doesn’t get any better than that.. lol

    1. I agree. She’s laughing all the way to the bank!

  22. I just about peed my pants reading this! The best/worst products I’ve seen are toilet accessories. One is called the potty putter so you can practice your golf while on the toilet. I. I can’t remember the name of the other one but it’s like a wand you can wipe your ass with if you’re too lazy or big to reach around. Maybe Kim could take a selfie of that!

  23. This is hysterical. Wow — what the heck?
    Just to be clear…. I am newly retired and my kids are growing up so I have time to spend how I please. Funny, I don’t think I will use it taking selfies of my ass in the mirror. I can’t even decide which of these is most absurd but it was a crazy fun post.

  24. Okay, so is the banana bunker reusable? Or a 1 time only thing?

    I’m sure we buy things lots of other people wouldn’t dream of (a 40+ year old car comes to mind), so I can criticize too much. =)

  25. Ben @ The Wealth Gospel says:

    LOL! Some rich person needs to start a collection of this kind of crap so I can visit their museum

  26. While admittedly a bruised banana isn’t quite as appealing, they maybe should have done some testing about the appearance of the banana bunker. Or they maybe they were trying to expand their market? 🙂 And I don’t even understand what the watermelon stroller is and why I would spend $200 on it. I heard Kim refer to her book as being a “coffee table” book. Uh, no. I don’t want a book of you on my coffee table.

  27. This is hilarious, as is your commentary (as usual). I can and can’t believe the Kim K book. Sometimes, I wish I could be self absorbed and make millions off of it. Her ass is partially responsible for her fame, right? I guess it deserves its own set of selfies.

  28. I think all of these things are ridiculous and I didn’t even know they existed. What is happening in the world that we need a banana bunker.

  29. Uh, you can add the “salad shooter” to your list…remember that worthless kitchen gadget?

  30. When we were considering taking my grandparents on a cruise I looked up a million “how to smuggle booze on a cruise ship posts” I didn’t, however, see the fake tampons. Weird, gross, and like you said… definitely not enough to get drunk. I did however see a bunch of “how to make wine bottles look like they haven’t been opened posts”. Apparently some of the cruises let you take 2 bottles of wine (or vodka if you can sneak it).

  31. “Carrying around a naked banana makes them feel vulnerable” HAHA! That’s funny. You don’t want to get your daughter a Red Riding Potty? lol. Yeah, that doesn’t make sense to me either. It rocks? Seriously? And it doesn’t help that it’s creepy looking.

  32. This is incredible. And seriously, who keeps giving the Kardashians money? What is wrong with people?? But after reading this, I’m highly confident in some of my new inventions, like shoe shoes, which are, yes, shoes for your shoes so they don’t get dirty.

  33. Cedric@FuggingDebt says:

    Well you don’t want to buy brand new.

    I would suggest shopping on Craigslist for used Banana Bunker and a used Red Riding Potty. I’m sure you can find a great deal on those!

    Just kidding… Disgusting haha

  34. The banana thing is just vulgar! Sadly, I’m sure many people will be buying that Kim K. book.

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