It’s been a long and awful week at the Club Thrifty household already, which is pretty strange since it is only Wednesday.

What can I say? 

I’m burnt out, I’m tired, and I’m counting on our upcoming cruise to melt my troubles away.  With that being said, I thought it would be fun to keep things light for a change and talk about some of the ridiculous things I’ve seen for sale recently.  We all know that people are terrible with money, but I still find it surprising when people blow their hard-earned cash on pure crap.  Here are 5 ridiculous things I won’t be buying this week:

5 Ridiculous Things I Won’t Be Buying This Week

Kim Kardashian’s New Book, “Selfish”

Don't shred your hard-earned dollars by buying any of this junk!

Don’t shred your hard-earned dollars by buying any of this junk!

I don’t know how I stumbled on this story, but here goes.  Apparently Kim K. never got the memo that she has oversaturated the market.  So, to “reach more fans,” she has chosen to publish an entire book of selfie photos that were originally intended to be a Valentine’s Day gift for her husband, Kanye.  The 352-page book features a new selfie for each day of the year and will retail for $19.99.  “”I’m going to make some super racy,” Kim apparently told People Magazine. “I mean, every girl takes pictures of their ass in the mirror … I might share some of them.”

No, Kim.  Every girl does not have time to take pictures of her own ass.  Some of us are busy.  Working.

banana guardTampon Flasks

I stumbled upon these “products” while searching Amazon for anything that might be helpful on our first cruise.  My first thought was that they seem small.  I mean, how many ounces does your average tampon really hold?  Maybe I’m just a huge lush, but it takes a lot more than the equivalent of 5-tampons of booze to make a dent in my sobriety. #pointless

And although they might be designed to smuggle booze on a cruise ship, tampon flasks aren’t only for cruises- they also provide a discreet way to hide your favorite adult beverage at frat parties, family get-togethers, or even your college dorm room.

Retail Cost: $10.16 and your pride.

Banana Bunkerbanana bunker

Ummmmmmm……..

Apparently the world’s perfect fruit just isn’t enough for some people.  Carrying around a naked banana makes them feel vulnerable, and they feel the need to wrap that baby up…and fast.  Enter the Banana Bunker, which could be mistaken for something else if you accidentally leave it on your desk at work.

Don’t say I didn’t warn ya!

o-WATERMELON-STROLLER-570Watermelon Stroller

Do you have an insatiable urge to push a fully-chilled watermelon around as if it were your first-born child?  If so, you’re in luck!

The Watermelon Stroller comes in at around $200, but can easily pay for itself by safeguarding any fruits and vegetables you sincerely wish were your own flesh and blood.  Give him a hug for me too, K?

rocking pottyRed Riding Potty

I’ve been pretty honest about the fact that I want to get my daughter potty-trained as quickly as possible.  And we’ve tried everything- rewards, stickers, graphs, charts- you name it.  Want to know one thing we’re not trying, though?  A rocking potty seat. 

Because, you know, we don’t really want pee splishing and splashing all over our house.

Gross.

Wow.  I feel dumber for having written this post.

Would you buy any of these products?  What are some ridiculous products you’ve seen on the market lately?