Yup yup. Have we mentioned that we LOVE Game of Thrones around this joint? We haven’t?…Well, guess what…We do, AND the second season was released last Tuesday on DVD! Can I get a “Winterfell” up in this joint?!? HOLLA!!!
“The night is dark and full of terrors,” is definitely one of my favorite lines from the season – which is so uber swank that we’ve already started watching the entire 10-hour season for a second time. Don’t judge. These are the things you do when you are a) nerds, b) parents, and c) live without cable TV distracting you. Of course, Game of Thrones is an HBO show…which is a premium cable channel…but who’s counting?
While Melisandre’s words of warning may be correct, there are plenty of terrifying things that we should fear during the day as well. I’m not just talking about going to work or having two teenage daughters. I’m talkin ’bout some wild and crazy catastrophic events that could wipe us all out!
Oddly enough, my demented mind began pondering this the other day after reading the news. One of the stories stated that outer space was the “insurer’s final frontier.” By now, everybody has heard about the meteor that drilled Chelyabinsk, Russia. The article theorized about how insurers should consider offering insurance to protect property owners from damages suffered due to catastrophic events like these. Say whaaa?
According to the article, each year there is about a 1 in 250 chance of an asteroid between 30-100 meters in size deciding to play poke and tickle with the Earth. Now, how the hell insurance companies plan to tackle this market is beyond me. Still, it got me thinking about other catastrophic events that would be difficult to insure. Here are a few of the more terrifying catastrophes against which we will probably never be able to insure ourselves.
I’d love to think that the days of large scale wars are behind us, giving way to an era of rational thought and honest diplomacy for the good of all mankind..but, we just can’t seem to stop building things that we can use to blow ourselves up. From the M-80 firecracker to the H-Bomb, you just can’t fix
stupid old habits. With this in mind, another war will eventually come, and insuring property against its destruction would be nearly impossible. Strangely enough, I am not aware of any homeowner’s policies that cover these sorts of catastrophic events.
Still, I’m always trying to look on the bright side. If a war was fought here and we lost, there is always the chance that our citizens will no longer have the right to own property – in which case, no insurance premiums would be necessary! BONUS! That means fewer out of pocket repairs AND no insurance premiums! DOUBLE BONUS!!!
Can somebody please tell me if there is any sort of insurance product that protects the value of your dollars in the event of an economic meltdown? If there is, I may be tempted to buy it. I mean, the Economic Collapse blog is predicting that the global economic crisis is about to ramp itself up a bit. Of course, if the insurance claim is to be paid out in a devalued currency, that wouldn’t help me out much either. How’s a player supposed to get ahead in this joint?
Now here’s a doozy of a catastrophe! If we were invaded by aliens, would my stuff be covered by my insurance company? Would the aliens honor that contract? Would they even be capitalists? I hope I don’t have to find out.
This is one of those catastrophic events that is fairly likely to happen. In the event that a nuclear power plant decides emit a uranium belch, most insurance policies would not cover your damages. This may actually be something that insurance companies could consider offering as a rider…provided you make it out of the area alive. Maybe they could offer bonus compensation if you grow a third arm.
Gamma Ray Burst
Outer space is a very, very big place. There are hundreds of billions of galaxies out there, and our nearest galactic neighbor (the Andromeda galaxy) is about 2.5 million light years away. That is approximately 15,000,000,000,000,000,000 miles if I did my math correctly. (Is that 15 trillion, million mile segments??? I think I just blew my own mind!) That sort of mileage isn’t even comprehensible. Even with all of that emptiness, outer space is contains things that are much more dangerous to us than weeny little asteroids. Let’s talk about the total annihilation of Earth from a supernova’s a gamma ray burst!
While the chances of being charbroiled by a gamma ray burst seem – ahem – astronomical, it could be more likely than we think. According to researchers, it is believed that Earth took a glancing blow from a gamma ray burst in the 8th century. So, not only is it possible, but it is probable that it will happen again some day.
The horrific beauty of death by gamma ray burst is that a gamma ray travels at the speed of light…so we won’t even be able to see it coming until it is here. That makes insuring against loss sorta difficult. Of course, if Earth’s atmosphere is blown off and I am suddenly vaporized, I’m not going to be too worried about whether or not my homeowner’s coverage is going to kick in to help cover the damages.
Catastrophic Events and Your Future
So… Happy Day!………Right?!?
Seriously though, there is so much out there that we can’t control. We do the best we can to insure our financial and physical well beings, but we can’t prepare for every eventuality. Still, if you can build a peace promoting, safe energy producing, gamma ray proof protective shield to surround Earth…that doubles as an alien welcome sign…and moonlights as a global economic stabilizer…you’d be in business! Get to it! Time’s a wastin!
As for me, all this talk about catastrophic events has gotten me hungry. I’m gonna go grab a soy “chicken” sammy. Peace out.